A Higher Order of Beings

If one advances confidently in the direction of her dreams,

and endeavors to live the life which she has imagined,

she will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.

She will put some things behind her, will pass an invisible boundary;

new universal, and more liberal laws will begin to establish themselves around and within her, or the old laws will be expanded and interpreted in her favor in a more literal sense;

and she will live with the license of a higher order of beings.

– Thoreau

Henry David Thoreau's Grave, Concord MA

Here are some of the higher beings I’ve been immersing myself in lately:

Sea Glass and Sand Flies – Sometimes it’s beautiful sometimes it bites

Some Species Eat Their Young –  A hilarious blog by a FUNNY dad

Intranaut – Zen insights here in Flagstaff

Caroline Myss – a medical intuitive with a lot of wisdom

An incredible story  “The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks” by Rebeca Skloot

and, fantasizing about moving to an intentional community – so many to choose from!!


Someday my sons will read this

a letter to “unborn kin” by George Breed…

How beautiful that he can share his hopes and thoughts with his descendents. I hope to be that succinct someday. My favorite line is the last one.

the reward of being in the moment…

…is the moment.
I had this realization when I was about 17, looking out the window doing the dishes.  When I can really feel the intent of this statement I have been able to release so much of the anxiety that (especially lately) plagues me.

I have used this to guide me the last two days of staying at home with Ben.  There is an incredible monotany of staying home with a baby many hours a day.  When I overlay my tendency toward perfectionism and doing it all right, with the monotony, it makes me feel like I can’t do ANYTHING, much less anything well.

So, I had much more fun with him, let more things in the house go to hell, and generally had a better day than many I’ve been having lately.

“Since everything is but an apparition,
having nothing to do with good
or bad,
or rejection,
one may well burst out in laughter.”
– Longchenpa

feeling sooo unspiritual…

the last two days, of PMS, sleepless and newly crawling baby, forgetful but well-meaning 11 year old, and not much else….has made me want to smash things.  Why do my spiritual tools fly out the damn window when the going gets rough?  I mean, it doesn’t always, just when I seem to be triggered in an instant and have only had 4 hours of sleep!

I am seriously considering doing part time childcare for my littlest one because I just can’t find sanity right now.  I feel so guilty about it. I feel like I’m such a loser, like, “women have been doing all this, and MORE, for thousands of years and after 7 1/2 months I can’t take it!”

I also had the though that maybe I don’t feel connected to this community/town because I’m projecting my newly-surfaced feelings about my bio-father onto it?  Or, maybe I am a person who just needs a lot of people around them, not the isolation of stay-at-home momhood?

Well, gotta go, baby just took a 24 minute nap – enough time for me to fix my hair, and write this…I should be grateful!!!

recent walk to downtown

Ben’s first hike – what a fun day!!!


He laughed over and over as soon as we started out…he loves being in the backpack….such a great way to calm him!

art – journal entry