the reward of being in the moment…

…is the moment.
I had this realization when I was about 17, looking out the window doing the dishes.  When I can really feel the intent of this statement I have been able to release so much of the anxiety that (especially lately) plagues me.

I have used this to guide me the last two days of staying at home with Ben.  There is an incredible monotany of staying home with a baby many hours a day.  When I overlay my tendency toward perfectionism and doing it all right, with the monotony, it makes me feel like I can’t do ANYTHING, much less anything well.

So, I had much more fun with him, let more things in the house go to hell, and generally had a better day than many I’ve been having lately.

“Since everything is but an apparition,
having nothing to do with good
or bad,
acceptance
or rejection,
one may well burst out in laughter.”
– Longchenpa

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