She asked me why I come herePosted: December 15, 2010 | |
I have updated this post because the blog that prompted it, no longer exists.
On that blog, my doula, Mani, asked:
Why do I come here?
I come to “Sea Glass and Sand Flies:Sometimes it’s beautiful, sometimes it bites!”, to wade in such beauty and lucidity, depth, truth, and love.
Here, this life? To suck the marrow out. Because my tendency toward negativity and depression is such that I need to keep “coming here”, into the moment. I come to see what it’s all about. To behold beauty, and hopefully ease suffering in some small way. (I would also add, that I come here because I’m curious. Human beings are very very strange, delightful and I’m very curious how things get to be the way they are, and curious about how things change)
What is my next big thing? – I’ve been asking the universe for a sign about that for about 2 years now. I would have to say, at this point, my big thing is to live with authenticity. To seek acceptance of self and others, and learn more about joy. Oh, and to listen better. I wish I had more delicious details, but Universe has decided that concealed for now, is better.
“For whom will you stick around, always and forever?”
I will always be here for my sons and my husband. There are a small handful of others that I’ll be entwined with forever. I will stick around for those that I choose to stick around for. There are many ways of sticking around, and it seems the way I do that with various people changes through time, distance, shared experiences, and impasses that might stay stuck for a while. But, I stick around because I crave connection, I deepen through connection, I stick around because as a human, I was made to be sticky.
“What do you mean when you say, ” I love you”? When I say it with gusto and verve, I mean it the way that some use the word Namaste. The divinity inside me honors and recognizes the divinity within you. I intend to mean it this way all the time.
When it’s 11:30 and I’m crawling into bed, and my husband says, ‘I love you’, and I mumble back, “I love you, too”…it’s got less gusto behind it, but the kernel of intent is still there.