Open Hear Post #4 – A lesson in FearlessnessPosted: March 30, 2011 | |
Inspirations that come from anywhere that cause us to listen with our hearts… unlocking them in the process.
“Real fearlessness is the product of tenderness.
It comes from letting the world tickle your heart, your raw and beautiful heart.
You are willing to open up, without resistance or shyness, and face the world.
You are willing to share your heart with others.”
Chogyam Trungpa Tibetan Buddhist, Scholar and Artist
In a moment our relationship changed.
I chose to be real with him. I told him why I was crying and his big, beautiful, sensitive heart opened right up to me.
My usual MO is to get angry. To take it out on them, my loved ones. This time, rather than try to hide my tears or make him wrong for wanting me to watch a video about dirtbikes, while Ben was making SO MUCH noise and it had been such a long day of trying to keep it all together, much like any day, and I JUST WANTED TO FINISH THIS ONE….DAMN…..PARAGRAPH that I was reading, I owned it.
I found the source of my discomfort and I spilled it out. I gave him an honest picture of what was happening with me, right then, rather than covering it in all the ways that I’m so good at. And I broke down. I wept and kept weeping for a couple of minutes and he asked what was wrong at least twice. As I finally caught my breath I said,”Sometimes I would like to work on some artwork, or reading or just be creative – and there are so many demands and distractions that I hardly every allow myself to do it”
He really heard me.
Later that night I went to veg out in front of the TV with him. He grabbed two pieces of blank paper, two pencils, and two big sturdy books and sat down by me on the couch. He invited me to draw with him. He drew, I started writing this. We talked about how sometimes watching TV helped drown out the mental background noise and helped him draw better. I told him I used music for this. We talked about how girls at school were being “all dramatic about boys and love and stuff”. I suggested he ignore the drama as best he could.
I also thanked him to being so kind to me, for understanding about how my heart needs art and expression. He must know this because He has it inside of himself too. I am so blessed.