love after love after love…

Recently, in my self portraiture course with Vivienne McMasters, she shared a poem with the students:

Love after Love

{by Derek Walcott}

The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome
and say, sit here. Eat.

You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you have ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.

Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

My old self is wanting to come out and play again.  I have hidden her away, protecting her tender sensibilities, from what, I’m not sure.  As I re-embody some parts of my old self, I realize I’m a nice mix of newly embodied wisdom as well as a thaw of frozen pieces of me. I have always been a social being.  I love being out and about.  Nothing in my life prepared me for the isolation I’ve felt with a small baby at home. So I “Hoot Hot Damn, I Got a Job of Work! Yep, I”m going to be working 15 hours a week for a local organization that I love. This means daycare for my 13 month old.  And huge anxiety for me…but maybe not as much anxiety as the wondering if my brain will atrophy here in this house.

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4 Comments on “love after love after love…”

  1. Stephanie says:

    I ❤ you. And I know that you are doing the best you can, right now, in this moment. You are amazing. And it will be okay. (Now please tell me these things some time in the future…)

    Sit, feast on your life, now. It will never be the same.

    Like

  2. Melissa says:

    Enjoy your emerging from the in escapable crysalis that is new mommyhood with a baby. You are a beautiful butterfly that deserves to fly around and collect much needed nectar for yourself and thus your loved ones. Without this freedom to fly you would die and I’m happy the emerging is happening. Stretch those wings wide and enjoy the journey.

    KISS (KIndred Soul Sister)

    Like


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