Create our own reality…or unnecessary pressure?

“A survivor is someone who hasn’t committed suicide yet” – author unknown

Mother's Day

This, or three hours alone? I choose the three hours!!!

When I hear people say we create our own reality, I feel like what they’re really saying is that I had better live up to my own expectations, otherwise, I’m falling short.  I fell like I’m always falling short.  I apparently have very little capacity to create my reality in the way that makes a huge fabulous balanced life. I think of leaving this earthly plane because I can’t get it right, over and over and over….

But maybe I’m looking at it wrong. If I reframe it through a householder yogi’s eyes, through a spiritual warriors heart, I can see that it’s not the reality but the creating, in each moment, my “take”, my perception, of said reality that is the clincher.

Today I read two great Mother’s Day wrap up posts – From Patience Delgado: “We hate it because somewhere along the way, we told mamas that life must be the show: amazing, astounding, and we are responsible for it all.”  We tell ourselves we must be the only one who can’t quite hack it, can’t find the balance. We try so very hard at keeping it all together. The secret truth is, there is a place for every woman — a place where there is no balance, no right way, no thoughtful response, no barrier, no fear, no perfection, no layer left. It is this place where the real beauty resides, where truth reigns, where courage begins, where our children can really see life, where we find love, where we can rest.”

Does this mean that falling down is our moment of creation? Our moment of finding our strength and resilience? Yes, I’m beginning to see it that way.

I can’t possibly begin to be responsible for it all, and I certainly can’t make it amazing or astounding for anyone else, especially if I can’t do it for myself very often. As Valarie indicated we have to be specific about what we ask for. Even from ourselves, I find, because I’m so overwhelmed so much of the time that I can’t form a pure intention to save my life. Thank you for this reminder that, as I hear it, we must be realistic and sweet to ourselves, that we must keep going, that each moment is new, and a chance for new creation.


7 Comments on “Create our own reality…or unnecessary pressure?”

  1. Michelle says:

    I don’t know if I grasp the deeper meanings here, but I do know that we need to give ourselves a break on a regular basis – as long as we’re doing our best most of the time, isn’t that enough? Yes. Because all we can do is all we can do. So, here’s what I’m doing: I’m keeping a few plates spinning most of the time. BUT. One of those plates is MINE. Like, I really really want to get out on another mountain bike ride. I’m going to focus on making that happen, even while I keep the other plates spinning, because that ride will feed me and give me the ability to keep those other plates spinning. But if one plate falls off the stick to the ground, does that mean I don’t get my bike ride? NO! It means I put that plate back up on the stick and give it another spin, then do what it takes to get out on that ride (ask for and make plans for hubby to watch baby). And when I get that bike ride, the world is bigger and more beautiful again, the greens are greener and the blues bluer out there.

    Maybe I’m too new at this, but I don’t feel the responsibility to make it all beautiful fantastic in the eyes of everyone else. Who’s looking? Everyone’s too busy with their own reality, don’t you think? We need to be kind and gentle with ourselves, because the plates are always going to be there, and if one disappears there will be three to replace it.


    • I’m not sure if there are deeper meanings, but your analogy of plates rang true to me….I’m SURE I’ve got a plate for me here somewhere – oh, here it is, dirty, in the sink!!! better give it a wash, AND take a bike ride! : )


  2. Melissa says:

    Your creation…heartfelt and real!


  3. Stephanie says:

    Anyone who tells you that you are responsible for it all forgets that the rest of the world has free will.

    The only thing you can control is yourself, and just maybe, what you allow yourself to think. Perhaps instead of allowing yourself to feel judged by the invitation to create your own reality, you can instead visualize it as a cosmic “out.” Let that truth be your safe, healthy, productive and, ultimately, self-loving escape.


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